Saturday, February 11, 2017

Who Are You? Part 1

As someone who has taken great interest and effort into exploring the concept of personality, something I really enjoy is reading up about my own personality type, reflecting and exploring why I am the way that I am. If this is something you, too, are interested in, I suggest first starting with a personality test. These are easily accessible via the internet and usually take no longer than 15 minutes total. Completing the test itself is an efficient way to begin reflecting on the self. If you are with another person you can discuss the statements and the reasoning behind your response for a pretty enlightening conversation and unique way to get to know each other. The statements sometimes get redundant, but for the most part they are atypical and really make you think about the kind of person you are or think that you are. When I take a personality test I have to go with my gut response to each statement. If I think too much about it I find my responses become more inefficient. Like I mentioned, I am more attracted to the responses that depict the type of person I THINK I am as opposed to who I truly am. At the end of the day, I have completed multiple personality tests with the same result each time: I am an INFP "healer/mediator" personality type.

I would like to take some time to explore this personality type. Whether you are also an INFP or know someone who is, maybe you'll find it interesting or inspiring to dive deeper into your own self exploration and your personality type. It's important to remember that it's not only important to put effort into understanding your own personality type better, but also the personalities of those around you, especially loved ones and those that you wish to gain deeper understanding with. Everyone is different and unique, but there are only so many personality traits to be held, so of course some people share certain characteristics while others hold complete opposite ones. I think it is greatly beneficial to human interaction and relationships to be aware of your specific characteristics and those you share with others and do not share. I'm going to start by just sharing a little bit about some of the reading I'm currently interpreting and exploring some minor personal reflection regarding it. If I attempted to go into every detail about even just one personality type (there are 16 in total), well that's why there are entire books written about this topic! So, let's take it slow and just begin to scratch the surface of our amazingly confusing and beautiful minds.

A huge thank-you to a fellow self-exploring disciple (you know who you are if you're reading) that shared this wonderful internet site with me that deeply explores the different personality types, how the brain wiring of each differs and so forth. http://www.personalityhacker.com/infp-personality-type/

I will reference from this page in this first reflection post. I highly encourage you to take your own personality test and do further research! Also, encourage loved ones to take their own test so you can know what differing personalities you may benefit from learning more about, as well.

First things first, once you have the result of your personality test, you'll want to make sure you comprehend what each letter in the acronym means and how it differs from its opposing letter.
INFP: I=Introversion, N=Intuition, F=Feeling, P=Perception.

Introversion- quiet, reserved, expend energy in social situations (opposed to gaining energy with Extroversion).
Intuition- more abstract senses as opposed to concrete; focuses attention on big picture and future possibilities as opposed to immediate realities and details.
Feeling- less thinking and decision making based on logic.
Perception- tend to withhold judgment and "keep options open."

Now, it's important to recognize that there strengths and weaknesses to each characteristic and each personality type. I think the first step in recognizing these strengths and weaknesses is gaining awareness as to how your individual personality type may impact the wiring of your mentality and not just WHY you are you, but also HOW. Personality Hacker's webpage outlines a very simple visual of our mental wiring: a 4-passenger car. You have your driver, co-pilot, 3-year-old and 10-year-old packed into your car and each holds a different mental process that simultaneously impact our behaviors and decision-making processes. You'll have to look into to your own personality's 4-passenger car roles, but to use the INFP personality type as an example:

Driver, the primary way my mind makes decisions= "Authenticity" (Introverted Feeling). My driver asks "does this feel right" when evaluating decisions and is based in core values, motivation and conviction. This mental process hits very close to home for me, personally. I have always acknowledged my heightened sensitivity and introversion in response to the world around me. I feel that we are constantly encouraged to make decisions logically. "Listen to your head, not your heart" because your heart blinds you with emotions and irrational thinking. Even when I try to do this sometimes it just doesn't feel right! Being "true" to myself and my feelings is something that I take pride in. That's how I interpret the concept of authenticity. I find myself explaining my logic with feeling and accepting my feelings as they are with no need of any logical explanation. Is this right or wrong? I don't know, that's not necessarily the point of this reflection. My own "Authenticity" process definitely holds strengths and weaknesses, in my opinion, and I would care more about my awareness of those situations as opposed to it's "right or wrongness."

Co-pilot, how I learn new information= "Exploration" (Extroverted Intuition). The co-pilot mental process sits next to the driver in the passenger seat. They control the radio, keep eyes out for police cars, and decides how to interpret the world we are driving through. While scanning the outside world through the car window, my co-pilot continuously asks the question "what if?" This allows a broader view of the world and relationships I'm engaged in. This also continues to weaken my logical way of thinking because it naturally introduces new ideas, solutions, etc. A downfall that I personally experience because of my co-pilot is indecisiveness. I feel that my driver and co-pilot interact with one another positively and negatively. My usual inability to settle on one decision or outlook can cause question of my authenticity or can be strengthened by my justification that it's just how I feel and there's no further explanation needed.

10-year-old, seated behind co-pilot= "Memory," realizing who you are based on past experiences. My memory, according to this interpretation, has the development of a 10-year-old. To expand on this, my memory process plays a disadvantage in my life by remaining in the "safe zone" and rarely facing fears. Keeping narrow boundaries to avoid being "wrong" which does not seem to benefit both of my front seat passengers. When I apply this mental process to aspects of life outside of play and intimacy, I can find myself limiting my exploration or not being open to others' explorations or differing opinions of my "what if" perspectives. I think that something I can try doing is first, recognizing when this under-developed mental process begins to become relevant and second, practice deciding whether or not it's useful in my current situation. Then I will have to take it a step further and practice deterring away from allowing my "memory" process to dictate the situation if it's not beneficial or leading to some sort of growth. Furthermore, when it does feel that it's helping me or leading to a positive experience or outcome, learning how to focus this process in similar situations so that it may become stronger in those areas and weaker in areas of conflict or some explorations.

3-year-old, seated behind driver, the blind spot!= "Effectiveness," logical thinking about "what works?" and "what gets the job done?" Any mental process with a logical basis brings no surprise to me as my "blind spot." As I've already stated many times, I'm extremely aware that logical thinking with no personal feelings attached is a huge weakness of mine and causes conflict in my personal relationships. Authenticity chimes in to this, though, and reinforces that how I feel, even in a logical sense, requires no justification or explanation, which only defers me further from positive growth. I suppose, if I may endure some positive feedback with this one, I believe that my awareness of my blind spot can lead to helpful exploration and self reflection. But, like any other 3-year-old, it can be difficult and frustrating to discipline this mental process when it's adding more and more turmoil to an already difficult situation. Demanding, passive-aggressive, bossy, are all characteristics used to describe my blind spot. These unfavorable traits are especially heightened and harder to control in times of stress and confusion. I personally notice this intensification in a job setting where stress can run high and while I typically maintain a more calm and passive attitude, I tend to lash out verbally (not at anyone in particular, just a general venting) and can become pretty hostile. This blind spot is also, obviously, detrimental to personal relationships when it comes to disagreements and arguments. As expected, the 3- and 10-year-old feed off each other and, in my experience, enhance the worst traits in respect to each mental process. Acting in a more passive-aggressive manner while narrowing boundaries to avoid being "wrong." Bless the souls of the people that remain close to me in my life and put in sincere effort to understand and reason with me. A simple and beneficial solution to stress for me is to draw and focus attention on uncomplicated tasks and even following a small to-do list to ease my mind. If this is work-related, I can mentally prepare a to-do list to accomplish before lunch if I'm feeling hostile in response to a stressful situation. 1. answer the email, 2. update the notes, 3. make the phone call, and so forth. If it's more personal, I usually concoct a more abstract to-do list like getting out and about, doing something productive like cleaning or writing, I usually feel more motivated than normal to engage in these activities knowing that it will clear my mind and emotions to come back and address the stress-related situation with a slightly more calmed state.

The surface has been scratched! Each of the 4 components of my specific personality trait have been defined and reflections have begun. Not just WHY I am this way, but HOW the prominent mental processes in my brain effect who I am, my behaviors and decision making have been slightly explored. Like I said, if I go any further with this first post, it will quickly turn into a book, so I'm going to stop here, but will dive further into strengths, weaknesses, why's, how's, solutions and relations regarding my own INFP personality trait in future posts. I believe the importance and benefit of understanding my personality and the traits of loved ones is infinite and undeniable. I hope that conducting these reflections via physical writing will only deepen my understanding and inspire others to begin or further their own self explorations because...

"today you are YOU, that is truer than true and there is NO ONE alive that is YOUER than YOU."
-Dr. Seuss








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